Tabuu Wrap-up: Do you want to make your sex life better? Learn to speak up!
The more I discuss sex with people, the more I realize that many people struggle with the same things. One of the most common issues is sexual communication. Whether that’s talking about consent, discussing the things you like, or talking about being a better partner, most people fall short in these conversations. But that’s because they don’t really talk to each other. Instead, they try to read each other’s minds or speak in riddles without saying what they mean.
How can you get over that? Well, I say you give dirty talk a try. Talking dirty is hardly a new occurrence. However, according to a survey by Adam & Eve, one-third of people never do it and 33% of them do it only sometimes. So, I’m just going to say it: if you’re not talking dirty with your partner, you might be missing out big time! If you want to give aural sex a try, here are a few reasons why you should dirty talk and I’ll also give you a few tips on how you should get started!
Why Try Aural Sex?
Aural sex is the practice of providing and/or receiving mental sexual stimulation with or from a pleasant voice, as it speaks filthy little things into your ear while you’re getting it on. So, why should you give dirty talk a try?
1. It’s a super fun way to talk about consent
If there’s anything that makes sexual experiences better, that’s enthusiasm. However, consent is commonly a hurdle for many people who believe it ruins the moment to bring up something so serious. Well, dirty talk is a great way to get consent in a very enthusiastic way while building arousal at the same time.
Do you what’s sexier than someone touching you in a certain way? A partner telling you how badly they want to touch you and giving you the chance to say you’re 100% on board with that. Dirty talk suddenly turns sexual consent into a stepping stone towards something better. This is particularly true when you’re with someone new or when you want to try something new with your long-time partner.
2. It will bring sex to the next level
Perhaps the best thing about dirty talk is that it’s a super fun way to talk about sex with your partner, and that’s always good. According to research, lovers who speak more openly about sex experience greater sexual satisfaction. That’s because communicating about what they want makes it possible for them to achieve it, making sex about 10 times better, if not more. Your partner is not a mind reader and you’re not one either. Using dirty talk to integrate communication into the bedroom will bring sex to the next level for you both!
How to Practice Aural Sex
Now that you know what you can get out of aural sex, let’s take a look at a few tips that will help you get over that initial awkwardness that comes with dirty talk!
1. Letting Go of Your Old Ways
It’s common for people to think of dirty talk like it’s a performative kind of thing. It’s certainly a huge leap for people who are just not used to speaking their minds when it comes to sex. When you’re trying out dirty talk for the first time, you want to keep it real and simple. That’s the best way you can make things more manageable and allow yourself to let go of your old ways.
Forget about all the stereotypes surrounding dirty talk and forget about everything you’ve heard. Not all penises will be “omg, so big”, not all vaginas will be “super tight”, not everyone is “very bad”. When you try to use someone else’s words because you think that’s the “right” way to do it, it will come off as weird.
That’s why you need to base your dirty talk on what’s going on at the moment and the person you’re actually with. In other words, be in the moment and talk about what you like. Does it feel good? Say it! Does their ass or breasts look great? Tell them! Are you excited to be with them? Let them know! Don’t tell your partner what you think they want to hear, tell them what they need to know.
2. Ask Questions to Break Down Their Walls
In some cases, there’s an imbalance when it comes to dirty talk. Maybe you’re inspired and you’re giving your partner great lines but they just remain silent. We forget that being on the receiving end of the dirty talk can also be awkward. Especially if it’s something you’ve never done before. In this scenario, asking them to talk dirty to you will just make things worse. Instead, ask questions to break down their walls!
When you ask things such as “Do you like that?” or “What do you want?” you’ll be talking dirty together in no time. Sometimes our partners just need to warm up! We must be willing to give them the guidance they need to feel more comfortable with it and let their freak fly with you! However, it’s important to note that not everyone likes dirty talk, no matter how you go about it. If that’s the case, you’ll need to talk about it and negotiate!
If dirty talk works for both of you and it’s something you like, it can truly change your sex life for the better. So, leave your shyness and awkwardness at the door! Be in the moment, enjoy yourself, and get dirty!