Tabuu Wrap-up: Do you want to give wax play a try? Then, let’s learn how you can do it right and have fun!
Wax play is incredibly intense and amazingly sensual. Perhaps the best thing about it is that it can be super soothing or as sharp as being whipped. There’s a lot more to wax play than this, of course, which is why it’s so appealing to many. However, if you want to give wax play a try, you need to know it can be messy and there are risks involved.
What that means is that you need to know what you’re doing before you get into it. It’s important you do it safely and that you prepare enough to minimize risks and get the most pleasure out of the experience. Without further ado, let’s discuss the benefits and the risks of wax play!
1. Safety Is the Priority
It can’t be stressed enough just how important safety is when it comes to BDSM and kink. It’s so important, it’s one of the pillars of BDSM, along with consent. When you bring something alight into the game, you must be extremely careful.
A little carelessness can lead to a big mess and ruin all the fun, so you need to remove as much possibility of that happening as you can. First of all, you must get a fire extinguisher and have it nearby. Let me repeat that: have your fire extinguisher handy at all times.
Second of all, prepare your space accordingly. Don’t engage in wax play in a room that’s too small or cluttered. You don’t want to have anything around you that could easily ignite, such as scarves, tissues, papers, etc. Ideally, you want your wax play to only involve a surface, a candle, and a lighter. That’s it.
In short, safety is all about planning for the worst so you can avoid it and enjoy the best. Needless to say, before you try anything new in the BDSM scene, make sure to do your research. Learn as much as possible about any new practice you want to try. If you’re confused about anything or have doubts, don’t engage in the activity yet. Hold on, learn more, and then go!
2. Don’t Use Just Any Candle
You’ve probably never thought about this before, but candles are not all the same. When you want to engage in safe wax play, using the right kind of candle is essential. Just so we’re clear, there’s only one type of candle that’s suited for safe wax play. Only one.
This type of candle may have many different names, but the most common one is “safety candles” and they’re very easy to track down. They can be found at your local hardware store or pharmacy. They look super basic and dull, but they’re the only type of candle that you should use for wax play. Forget about aesthetics; pleasure and safety are way more important.
So, what’s the issue with all the other candles that are available on the market? Well, other kinds of candles are made with more than just wax. They contain many other additives, such as color, scent, and other chemicals for different purposes. These candles are great for creating a specific ambiance, but they’re not suited for safe wax play.
The issue with candles that contain additives is that, when they’re not specifically made for wax play, they will get very hot and the wax can seriously burn the skin. So, forget about other kinds of candles, especially beeswax candles, which gets extremely hot. Go for a dull, safety candle instead.
Safety candles are very soft, which is the first thing you’ll notice about them. Sometimes even rubbing it with your fingers will cause them to melt a little. This is precisely why they’re perfect for wax play. The softer your candle is, the lower the melting point will be. So, once the wax hits the skin, it won’t be super-hot and it will cool down faster.
As you can imagine, there are successful kink entrepreneurs who make candles specifically for wax play. But where you purchase the candle doesn’t matter, what matters is you make sure it’s the right kind and you try it out first.
3. Try It Out on Your Skin First
There are some things about kink play that dominants need to know what their partner is feeling. And the only way to do that is to try the toy or the experience yourself. When it comes to wax play, it’s important you try the candle on your skin first. The palm of your hand or your thighs is a good place to test your candle out.
However, remember people experience pain differently and we all have a different level of tolerance. It could be fine for you, but it might be too painful for them. This is where communication comes in, so keep it open and honest. If they say it’s too much for them, listen and adjust accordingly.
4. Prep the Skin Before Wax Play
Say your space is all set up and your safety candle is ready to go. Your fire extinguisher is nearby, you’ve tried the candle on your skin, you have a safeword. You’re ready to go.
Well, no, hold on. You still need to do one thing and it may seem a bit odd. You need to prep the skin on the areas of the body you will be pouring the wax on. What I mean by that, is you should get rid of hair. All of it. Gone.
One of the best things about wax play is that hot wax can be poured everywhere in the body as long as you have the skill and experience to be careful about it. If you pour wax over hairy areas of the body, it will be a pain to take off and it will taint what was a great experience so far.
So, even though you technically can pour wax everywhere, you want to start with a limited area. Prep the skin by shaving all the areas you need to and also apply non-scented oil on your skin. Just a thin coating will go a long way. Just make sure the oil is non-scented, we don’t want an allergic reaction. So, go with coconut oil or baby oil.
5. Beware of the Distance Between the Candle and the Skin
Now that everything is set up and the skin is ready, it’s time to get started! At this point, it’s important you understand the importance of the distance between the candle and the skin. This is essential to a positive experience.
The recommendation is to hold the candle less than a foot over your partner’s skin. If you hold it closer than that, you risk burning the skin because the wax will be too hot for the skin. If you hold it farther, it may splash. So, keep it at a little below a foot.
The position of the candle is also important, and you want to keep it parallel to the skin. If you hold the candle too far back, the wax will hit you because it’s too close to your hand. And if you hold it directly down, you will burn your partner.
As you’re playing with wax, you want to take your time and do it slowly. Be careful and don’t rush. When the wax hits the skin, it’s exciting, but as it cools, the intensity will wind down. Which is why you want to go back to areas where you’ve already poured.
Needless to say, if your submissive doesn’t like it at all, don’t try to take it off with water. Simply rub the area where the wax is and it will cool down quicker.
6. Determine Where to Pour the Wax
There are many great areas for wax play on the body. For example, the nipples, the back, the breasts, and the thighs are popular areas. The butt is also a good area, especially after you’ve gone through intense impact play. You can even pour wax over men’s genitals, but you have to be extremely careful around the area.
As long as the skin is prepared and you are careful with the pouring, it doesn’t matter where you do it, it will feel good. Of course, you can decide beforehand where you want the wax to be poured and you should have that discussion first.
7. The Cleanup
After you’ve thoroughly enjoyed yourself and you’ve made a mess, it’s time to clean up. This is why not all play spaces will allow wax play, so if you don’t want to play at home, you need to ask the host if it’s okay or not.
But if you are doing it at home, you should place a bed sheet under the submissive. Once you’re done, the sheet will make cleanup a lot easier. All you need to do is brush the wax off their skin, get them to stand up carefully, and then take the sheet and throw it away. Or save it to be reused if you want.
Even if you prepare the area, wax can get everywhere, so make sure you’re extremely careful. Especially if there’s any carpeting or furniture around because wax can be a pain to take off. This is why you should wax play in a space that’s basically bare and do it on the floor. Have pillows at hand in case your submissive needs some comfort.
That’s it! This is all you need to know to make your wax play is not only safe and comfortable but also pleasurable. Wax play is challenging, but it’s a ton of fun and it’s super-hot as well. If you have any doubts, make sure you do your research. You want to go into wax play as confident as possible!