Tabuu Wrap-up: Kink is super exciting! But the key to that excitement is making sure you’re doing it safely, so you need to take it one step at a time.
When you’re trying to get into BDSM, it can be very overwhelming. There are so many things to understand, so many ways to get into it, and so many things to try. Not to mention the lingo. Rope bunny. Primal. Electro Play. These are just a few of the terms, so BDSM as a whole can be a bit daunting. The possibilities of kink are truly endless, but there are a few things you should do before you dip your toes in the water.
1. Munch in Your Area
The best way to learn more about BDSM is to meet people who are already in the scene in a friendly environment. A much is a gathering that usually takes place at a coffee shop or restaurant where people with an interest in BDSM come together. Because the meetings are in a safe, public space, it will take a lot of the edge off of beginners and it’s a great starting point.
2. Create an Account in FetLife
FetLife is virtually Facebook for people who are in the kink scene. You will be able to browse groups that cater to many different kinks and you will also be able to connect with people you meet in the site. Whether that’s at a munch or a dungeon party will be up to you. When it comes to choosing the right partner for you, FetLife makes things a lot easier.
Just remember, be safe! Red flags are easy to spot and you want to keep away from profiles that are riddled with them. Whenever you choose to meet someone, make sure it’s always in a public space where you feel safe. Otherwise, don’t do it. Trust needs to be earned, on both ends, so don’t blindly jump into anything.
3. Get Yourself a Mentor
You might be a little bit early in the game to get into a complete apprenticeship. However, it’s still very useful to connect and discuss a few things with the top Master or Mistress in your area. Heck, it doesn’t have to be the top one! Just reach out to someone with enough experience to answer your questions. If you go to a dungeon party or a munch, you want to strike up a conversation with the host. They can offer valuable information to guide your first steps!
4. Network So You’re Invited to More Parties
Networking is very important when you want to become a part of a new scene, and kink is no exception. You need to connect with others every time you go to a munch or any other meetings/parties. Become close with a Mistress or Master and help them throw their parties. Get involved, help them do things other people don’t, such as cleaning up after parties and generally being kind. This is how you can get consistently invited and you will also earn their appreciation and friendship.
5. Pay Attention
When you step into the BDSM scene, you will meet a lot of truly fascinating and interesting people. All you need to do is take your time to connect and get to know them. Don’t rush into things with anyone. It won’t be good for your experience to attempt things you’re not ready for. What you can do is pay attention! Learn as much as possible. This is how you can keep yourself safe and still enjoy this exciting world.
Open your eyes and your ears, and always follow your instinct. These 5 tips will make things a bit easier and less confusing, but you still have a long way to go. There’s so much more you need to understand, so read as much as you can!