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Tabuu Wrap-up: BDSM can help you learn things that will make your relationships grow. Being present, more trusting, and more communicative are just a few of the best benefits!
BDSM has become a popular topic in the last couple of years. That’s largely due to Fifty Shades of Grey’s popularity. But let me just say, Fifty Shades is not an accurate representation of BDSM. If anything, it’s a representation of manipulation. But I digress. Despite that, it has inspired people to change their views on something that was once considered a sick perversion.
People are a lot more open to BDSM and learning about it than before, so it’s important we put forward accurate information. For example, it has been proven by studies that people who practice BDSM have better psychological health than people who practice vanilla sex. Kink is also a useful therapeutic tool and some kink-friendly therapists help people use it to cope healthily with mental issues. Studies also report that BDSM practitioners have more secure attachments in their relationships.
If you want to know what you can gain from BDSM, here’s a list of things it can help you learn which will make you feel better as a person and have better relationships as well.
1. You Learn to Advocate for Yourself
When you get into BDSM, you learn to speak for yourself effectively. At first, many people are reluctant to use their safe words because they don’t like conflict in general. Submissives are often quiet and accommodating in real life, so when they’re in the scene, they can be that way too.
However, it’s not healthy to always expect people to notice your needs, not in real life, not in BDSM. Why? Because it doesn’t lead to pleasure and it can be dangerous. That’s why BDSM teaches you how to advocate for yourself, as well as being more open, honest, and communicative. These things are basically a requirement for the experience to be safe and satisfactory.
Once you learn these skills, they will spill over to other aspects of your life making you more effective in relationships and other important aspects, such as work, interpersonal relationships, and more.
2. You Learn to Be Responsible
Being submissive is not just about taking orders and performing tasks. You still have a responsibility, mainly for yourself. You need to communicate clearly about your desires and needs, and you also need to establish as many limits and boundaries as you need. Even as a submissive, a big part of your pleasure is your responsibility.
It’s not just your partner’s responsibility to do everything just because they’re the dominant one in the dynamic. It’s also on you to figure out what you like, what you don’t like, what you will and won’t allow, and you have a say in the decisions that are made.
3. You Learn to Live in the Moment
If you’ve tried meditation and yoga to teach yourself how to live in the moment but you haven’t been successful, perhaps BDSM can help you get there. Kink is not something you check out of. Doing that changes the whole dynamic. It goes from being something you’re doing with your partner, to being something your partner is doing to you. That’s not the point at all.
In fact, BDSM, when you’re in it and you allow yourself to live in the moment, can feel like a transcending experience. Many people in the community talk about experiencing a kind of altered state of consciousness where you just let go of everything and your mind is completely calm and quiet.
4. You Learn to Trust Yourself and Others
When you’re a submissive, you learn to trust your partner with your body like never before. If you have trust issues in general, BDSM can help you work through them simply because trust is a big part of the experience.
BDSM requires you to tear down your walls and keep your guard down. The experience will be much better that way. You don’t only learn to trust others, you also learn to trust yourself with your limits and desires. This is a must if you want to have the kind of experience that’s satisfying for you and everyone else involved.
5. BDSM Can Be a Therapeutic Tool
So far, we’ve learned that the benefits of BDSM include speaking for yourself, communicating more effectively, be more responsible with your pleasure, learn to live in the moment, and trust yourself as well as your partner. What do all these things have in common? They will make your relationships more successful, not just your BDSM experience.
When you learn to do these things in bed, they will spill over to the rest of your life and they will affect every aspect of it. As a result, you’ll feel more secure in relationships, you’ll be more self-aware, confident, and honest, and you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively.
BDSM can also help your mental health in other ways. For many people, the scene is a great therapeutic tool that provides an outlet for anxiety and depression. As I mentioned before, some kink-friendly therapists will not only help you work through your issues but also use kink as a tool for coping.
In short, practicing BDSM can teach you a lot about yourself and it can make you a better partner, not only in the bedroom, but also outside of it. However, it is up to you to do the work. You need to do your research and determine what you want to engage with, you also need to listen to your partner’s feedback, and, most importantly, you need to be honest!
