Tabuu Wrap-up: Sex toys can help you discover pleasure in many different ways, and this will lead to a better connection to sex than ever before.
Have you ever agonized about showing your body or certain parts of it to a partner? Have you ever had a hard time expressing your sexual desires openly? If the answer is yes, you may be experiencing sexual guilt and shame.
People who experience sexual guilt and shame worry a lot about whether what they enjoy and desire is wrong. They worry about liking sex too much or not enough. In other words, you doubt everything and you don’t enjoy much as a result.
If you’re like this, it’s completely normal. Everyone, unless they’re extremely lucky, has experienced sexual shame to a certain degree. What you need to understand here is that sexual shame comes from the outside, from experiences we’ve had with partners, friends, family, or even our education, culture, and society. It doesn’t stem from within.
There’s nothing innately wrong with you when you experience sexual shame, but it certainly feels like there it. The truth is that when you feel shame or guilt about masturbation or watching porn or having sex or enjoying certain things in bed, you assume that means those things are bad.
But when you take a moment to really think about the things that lead you to feel shame or guilt, you’ll realize there’s nothing wrong with them. However, the feelings don’t go away that easily.
Don’t worry, though! Sexual guilt and shame can be overcome and there are actually a few ways to do it. You could go to therapy, practice being more open about your sexuality and sex with your partner, or simply analyzing your feelings when they arise. Don’t just accept your shame or guilt at face value.
Sex toys can also help you deal with sexual shame very effectively. Now, sex toys carry their own baggage, especially for women. However, they can do wonders for your sex life. To overcome your sexual shame, it’s important you adjust the way you feel about yourself, your body, your pleasure, and your sexuality. Here are 10 reasons why sex toys can help you shed your sexual shame!
1. Playing Makes a Big Difference
It’s not a coincidence sex toys are called “toys” and not “tools” or “implements”. The fact that they’re called sex toys implies they’re meant for fun, self-exploration, pleasure, and excitement.
And that’s exactly what they’re made for! They will help you shift your view of your sexuality and your body effectively. You will go from feeling suppressed and ashamed to feeling more confident and safe.
2. Get to Know Your Body Well
Shame and guilt are painful emotions, especially when they’re directed at our bodies because it causes us to neglect them. When we’re too ashamed to explore our bodies, we’re too ashamed to look at them or feel them.
For this reason, we’re too embarrassed to go to the doctor, particularly gynecologists, and even if we go, we’re too embarrassed to show them our bodies or ask for questions. Using sex toys regularly will help you get to know your body at a much more intimate level. This is how we start to appreciate our bodies, enjoy them, and love them as they are.
3. Sex Toys Make You Feel Empowered
When vibrators first hit the market, they were considered to be a part of the female empowerment movement of the ‘60s and ‘70s. Up until that point, female pleasure was thought to require a male partner. Vibrators and all the sex toys that came after proved that was wrong and they help women’s orgasms become freer than ever.
Orgasms stopped being something you could only enjoy in a relationship, and they became something women could enjoy on their own. Now, don’t get me wrong! Partnered sex is an amazing part of life. I’m not saying sex toys should or could replace that, I’m saying they can be a useful part of it. When you become the boss of your own pleasure, you can still share it with others, but you won’t have to rely on anyone else.
4. They Will Allow You to Let Go of Your Inhibitions
Sex toys are designed with a clear purpose and they fulfill it extremely well. If your sexual shame is keeping you from experiencing pleasure, sex toys can help you get through your inhibitions. Plus, they allow you to lay back and relax because they do almost everything for you. When you’re in the right mind space, you’ll be able to break through your inhibitions and finally experience the pleasure you’ve been denying yourself.
5. They’re a Great Incentive to Fantasize More
One of the best things about sex toys is they don’t have an agenda. You’re in complete control of them and they exist only to fulfill your needs and desires. They also allow you to tap into your sexual imagination, which is very important to enjoy your sex life a lot more. Sexual fantasies are a big part of what it means to be in touch with your sexuality.
Your imagination is one of the first places you begin you explore your sexuality, what you like, and what you enjoy. So, once when you’re sharing your sexuality with someone else, you have a clear idea of what you want it to look and feel like. You can’t have too many ideas when it comes to sex. The more the merrier!
6. They Improve Your Communication
There are many different ways sex toys can help you broaden your sexual repertoire. That’s important in a relationship, especially if it’s a long-term one. However, you don’t want to suddenly spring sex toys on your partner during sex. Not many people will take that well and you want to be respectful. So, instead of just whipping out a dildo in the middle of sex, talk to your partner about what you like.
Talking about sex toys before integrating them into your partnered sex life is very important. What you like might not be exactly what your partner likes, so it’s important to discuss things and find a nice middle ground that works for everyone. After that, you can go and have fun!
7. Sex Toys Promote Your Personal Sexual Exploration
Though body shame is not the same as sexual shame, they both go hand in hand. After all, you worry about how your partner will look at your body and whether you can have a good time together. Our society is very focused on looks, so exploring our bodies with sex toys can help us shift our focus away from that. Instead, we’ll be able to focus on how we’re feeling and our pleasure. When your body feels good, you’ll feel good about your body right back. That’s a great deal!
8. Playing With Yourself Makes You More Confident
Confidence is very important when it comes to sex because it’s necessary to speak your mind. And if you don’t speak your mind or are not able to ask for what you want, you won’t receive it. Remember partners are not mind-readers, so if they don’t have a clue of what you enjoy, they won’t be able to provide that for you in the bedroom. When you encourage yourself to experiment with sex toys, you’ll be able to have a better understanding of your pleasure. This will make you more confident and allow you to speak your mind more openly and comfortably.
9. Your Sexual Function Will Improve
Back when the world didn’t understand sex toys very well, people used to believe that they caused issues and they prevented us from truly enjoying partnered sex. But now we know that’s not true at all. In fact, quite the opposite happens. When you make a habit of playing with yourself and using sex toys, your sexual function actually improves. You’re more likely to orgasm and you’ll also experience greater arousal. Sexual function is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it will be.
10. Sex Toys Encourage Self-Love
Last but not least, sex toys will encourage self-love. Everything you do to increase your emotional and physical well-being will help you love yourself more and more. Having sex with yourself is the most incredible act of self-love, so practice it!
We all deserve to be able to connect with people emotionally and sexually. If sexual shame and guilt are keeping you away from that, you need to do something about it. Like, yesterday!
Sex toys are a great tool to help you deal with feelings of sexual shame and confront them head-on. By connecting with your sexual self you’ll be able to connect with your body and have a better sense of self-love and how you experience pleasure. That will translate into your sex life and relationships, leading to more confidence, pleasure, connection, and happiness.