Tabuu Wrap-up: The anus is one of the body’s major hotspots thanks to all the nerve endings it has. So, is it a surprise you want to tap into that much orgasmic potential?
If you mention anal sex, you will be met with many different reactions. Some people are all for it. Others find it repelling. Many people haven’t done it and are unsure they would be able to. Even though anal sex has been a staple in gay relationships for a long time, research shows that more and more straight relationships are giving anal sex a try. In fact, anal sex has never been as popular as it is today. So… why is everyone fuzzing so much about this?
For starters, the anus is full of nerve endings and blood vessels. That means there’s a ton of orgasmic potential in the area, making it one of the major hotspots in our bodies. Is it surprising people want to tap into that? No! Especially not when you consider many people report having the best orgasms of their lives through anal sex.
If this has piqued your interest and you’re wondering whether anal sex should be integrated into your sex life, today’s article will help you determine exactly that. Here’s everything you should know about anal sex to determine if you want to give it a try and tap into all that orgasmic potential!
1. The Stage Must Be Set
Anal sex is not something you can fake. Both parties need to let go of misconceptions about anal sex and approach it with an open mind and a clean slate. If you don’t really want to do it or if you’re unable to relax, the pleasure that the experience is meant to provide will be gone and you won’t have a good time.
This is why you absolutely need to set the stage! Talk to your partner before you get down to it. Don’t wait until you’re in the moment to bring up your concerns, limits, desires, etc. All these things must be discussed beforehand. It’s important you’re open and honest, not just about your expectations, but also your fears. You must set boundaries for each other as well.
Determine what aspects of anal play are out of bounds and you will be more confident going in. Once everything’s out in the open and you’re both clear about what you want, you will feel more confident, calm, and excited about anal sex.
2. Prepare Your Body
The best way to approach anal sex is the same way you approach new sex positions; by taking it slow. There are many aspects to consider when it comes to preparing for anal sex. Shaving or manscaping are not your only concerns anymore.
If you’re on the receiving end of anal sex, it’s important you go to the toilet, and then take a thorough shower to make sure everything’s nice and clean before you get to the main event. If the anal sex will be more in-depth because you’re a bit more experienced or you’ve been preparing for deep penetration, an enema is something you should consider. We have a guide to help you do it safely, so don’t hesitate to check it out.
To spice things up right from the start, you can take the shower together and clean each other as a form of foreplay if you’re into that.
If you plan on using your fingers during anal play, you must make sure your nails are clipped and smooth them out well using a file. If you don’t want to get rid of your beautiful long nails, then consider using latex gloves. Just make sure you’re extremely careful when it’s time to play.
If you’re bringing any extras to your anal play, you want to make sure they’re ready to go and keep them close by. Nothing breaks the flow more than having to search for something when you’re all hot and bothered. So, make sure you have your sex toys, lube, wipes, etc., nearby and you’ll be ready for anything.
3. Expect Some Poop
Here’s a fact about anal play we all wish wasn’t real, but it is: poop will eventually become part of it. Maybe not in your first or fourth time trying it, but it will happen at some point. You need to know it’s 100% normal, that’s just how the anus is. So, you want to be prepared for some poop at any moment.
That’s why it’s a good idea to have baby wipes at the ready. Also, discuss this possibility beforehand and be aware of it as a couple. The last thing you want to do is make a big deal of it when it happens just because it caught you by surprise. That will essentially ruin anal play for you and you’ll be too embarrassed to try it again, if ever.
4. Safety First, Always
The anus is unsurprisingly nothing like vaginas. For one, it doesn’t produce lubrication, which is why a huge part of anal sex safety is to use as much lubrication as necessary. Lube doesn’t only make things easier and more comfortable, it makes them more pleasurable, and this is true for any kind of sexual experience, including masturbation. Lube will prevent anal tears, which is not something spit can do, so don’t even think about it.
Purchasing a high-quality lubricant is non-negotiable. So, do your research and find the right one for your purposes. If you’ll be using condoms or sex toys, make sure the lubricant is compatible with those materials. Finding the perfect lube will require some trial and error because we’re all different, but make sure you explore water-based and silicone-based lubes.
Another important aspect of anal sex, and any other sexual encounter with casual partners, is to make sure you’re clear of STDs. Get tested and consult with a physician and use condoms as well because they will reduce the risk of contracting certain STDs.
Last but not least on anal sex safety 101, never ever insert something into your vagina that has been in your anus without cleaning it well before. Why? For the same reason we wipe front to back. You don’t want any germs from your anus to make their way to your vagina because it can lead to infection and put a damper on your sex life for a while. Not to mention it will turn you off from anal sex as well!
5. Go Slowly and Never Stop Communicating
Before any kind of anal stimulation begins, you want to focus first on foreplay. Remember relaxation is a big part of anal sex, and that can’t happen if you don’t take the time to relax your body and become aroused. Arousal will allow your anal sphincter muscles to relax, so it’s a must. Of course, learning to relax this part of your body during penetration takes time and practice, but focusing on your breathing as you become used to the sensation is key.
The anus is a lot more delicate than anything else, so there’s a possibility of experiencing pain. However, pain should never be a part of anal sex. Which is why going slowly and gently is key. You want to start by stimulating the area around the anus before you start stimulating the anus itself on the outside and then begin penetration, little by little. Start with a finger, followed by a toy, and then you’ll be ready for the real deal. It’s definitely a process, so enjoy every stage of it.
6. Start Small and Go From There
Once the receiving partner is ready for penetration, you want to start small, with a finger. Make sure both the anus and the finger are well-lubricated. You want to be gentle and low when inserting the finger and not go all the way. This is where communication is most important. How does that feel? Is it enough? Can they handle more? Do they want more?
If they can go for more, wait for the anal sphincter muscles to relax before you try moving your finger up and down, then side to side, while keeping the finger straight. Again, continue communication. If your partner is ready for more, take the finger all the way in, while your partner focuses on their breathing. Exhaling is very helpful during that initial penetration.
If they want to go further, you can now insert another finger. If that’s comfortable, you can try the “come here” position with your fingers to stimulate the G-spot or P-spot, depending on the gender of your partner. This stimulation alone can make your partner climax, so watch out for that.
One thing that’s worth keeping in mind is that deeper penetration doesn’t mean anal sex will be better. The rectum, which is further in, is not nearly as sensitive as the anal opening or canal.
The partner on the receiving end of the anal penetration should definitely be in control of the speed because that’s what allows them to enjoy the experience. Not to mention being in control allows them to relax even further and be less afraid of any risks because they’ll be doing what feels good for them.
Once you graduate to penetration with a penis, it’s important to choose a position that makes anal sex more pleasurable and comfortable. To give the receiver more control, they can be on top and lower themselves into the penis so they can control depth and speed as they see fit.
If this is your first time doing anal, don’t be intimidated by it. There’s a lot more to anal stimulation than anal penetration. And either way, anal penetration is not the starting point. Or at least it shouldn’t be!
Remember it’s a process you need to go through by stages, so you want to start with stimulating, then penetration with fingers, then maybe you can use sex toys, and then you can go for penile penetration. All this must happen at your own pace and in your own time, so don’t rush through anything and don’t allow someone else to rush you either. Also, it takes practice. Tons of practice, so taking your time is key.
7. Cleaning Up
When you’re done, the first order of business is to clean yourself up. Bacteria from the rectum and anus shouldn’t go anywhere near other parts of your body. So, clean yourself up and any toys you used during your experience.
Also, if your partner ejaculated inside the rectum, it will need to come out. So, because of this and the use of lube, expect your bowel movements to be disrupted the following day. Just know there’s nothing to worry about, it’s all natural.
8. Check-in With Your Partner
Once the fun is over, everything’s clean, and your clothes are back on, you must check in with your partner. This is a matter of decency. If you don’t, you will leave your partner feeling a bit used, and I’m sure that’s not what you want.
So, check-in, talk about what happened, and let them know you’re interested in how they’re feeling. Talk about what you both liked or didn’t liked, and what you want to try next time if there even will be a next time. The more you communicate, the better.
As you can see, there’s a lot more to anal sex than just the desire to do it. In many ways, it’s a commitment you make with yourself and your partner to stick with it as long as it’s enjoyable. It’s a process and there are no shortcuts to anal penetration, but it can be an amazing, intense and pleasurable process if you allow it to be.
Giving anal sex a try for the right reasons is key here. You must want it and you must be willing to do what it takes to become ready for it. Be sure this is what you want and then begin your education, either on your own or with a partner!