Tabuu Wrap-up: Vulvas are not nearly as complicated as you think. Take your oral sex game to the next level with this guide!
Here’s a universal truth: sex matters quite a lot in a relationship. Oral sex included, of course. If you a quick search on the subject, you’ll find many resources on how to give amazing blow jobs. We’ve written a few of them ourselves! But when it comes to giving men oral sex advice, there seems to be an issue.
For the most part, oral sex guides for men seem to be written by men. That’s not the most reliable source of information when it comes to giving oral sex for women. Let’s face it, not all men love going down, and the ones who do, don’t always know what they’re doing.
Here’s another universal truth you should all come to terms with: vulvas are not as complicated as you think! If you really want to do well, then sit down and take some notes because today we’re going to provide the ultimate oral sex guide for men!
1. Never Forget About the Clit
The most important thing is the clitoris because it has over 8,000 nerve endings, so it’s a very sensitive area. To help you understand, look at it as a very small penis with double sensitivity. Think about that and let it sink it. Think about your own penis for a moment and imagine how it would feel if it was doubly sensitive. It’s important to understand this about the female body because it will make all the difference in the world when you’re down there.
2. Every Woman Is Different
This is the second most important piece of knowledge you need to integrate when it comes to oral sex. You may have your technique down, but it won’t work on everyone. Plus, oral sex is about living in the moment, you can’t go into it with a game plan. You have to live through it and adjust your technique as you go according to what she likes.
How can you figure out what she likes? Well, you could ask her about it either during (Does this feel good?) or before or after (What would you like me to do?). It’s also important you stay in the moment and read her responses and her body language. Every woman is different, so get to know the one you’re with.
3. Start Things Slowly
The last thing you want to do is rush through the process. Arousal is very important for her to get the most out of oral sex and any other kind of sexual activity for that matter. This is why build-up or foreplay should be taken slowly. Don’t just get naked, push her down on the bed, and start licking.
That’s porn, that’s not the real world. Real women need to be aroused first, so take your sweet time with it. Kiss her all over, take her clothes off slowly, tease her, kiss her while going down her stomach, lick her, play with her breasts, kiss her neck, etc. The more you tease her and the more you explore all the erogenous zones in her body, the better it will be.
Once you got her going and she’s practically begging for it, start with soft kisses or just breathe on her labia as you hover above her genitals without touching her. Work up your soft kisses with a little bit of soft tongue action and then continue kissing her labia up to her clit.
Then, you can take things up a notch and very gently lick her from the vagina up to her clitoris. Pay attention to the clit and softly play with it for a bit, then give it a little kiss and a little suck. Gradually increase your rhythm and trust me, you’ll blow her mind.
4. Play Off of Her Reaction
Pay attention to her reaction as you touch, caress, kiss, suck and lick her. If she’s moving away, take it down a notch. If she’s leaning into it, then it means she’s enjoying what you’re doing, so you should take whatever you’re doing to the next level, either by increasing the pressure or speed. It’s 100% valid to ask questions, just don’t turn it into an interview because you’ll break the mood. Like I said before, asking her “Does this feel good? Or “Do you like that?” will be enough.
5. Use Your Fingers Too
Yes, I know it’s oral sex, but that doesn’t mean using your fingers is breaking the rules. In fact, a lot of women enjoy that kind of double stimulation. Penetrating her with your fingers while you’re licking her clit can lead her to a better orgasm. Why? Because you’d be stimulating the clit and the G-spot at the same time. And if you do it well, she will have a double orgasm.
If you want to give this a shot, make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed so you don’t scratch her down there. It’s also a good idea to figure out where the G-spot is and how to stimulate it. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! We have a ton of resources about that, so make sure you check them out before you leave.
When you’re using your fingers, insert one first, and then pay attention to her reaction to determine how fast, deep, or hard she wants you to go. When you’re ready, insert a second finger as you continue orally stimulating her clitoris. You will blow her mind as long as you follow her lead and oral your heart out.
If you follow these tips, you will bring your woman to the verge of mind-blowing orgasms. Just remember: listen and pay attention to her body language as well! Being present is the only way of knowing what you’re doing right. And once you get a good response out of something, keep doing it.
But don’t just do one thing over and over. Remember to switch things up as you go. Just because she’s really loving that clockwise movement doesn’t mean that’s the only thing she’ll need you to do to orgasm.
Once again, we remind you the clit has 8,000 nerve endings, which means giving her the same stimulation over and over will only irritate her or cause numbness. If you’re moving your tongue clockwise and she’s enjoying it a whole lot, then go counter-clockwise or do something entirely different, such as going up and down or stop licking and give her kisses. You get the idea! Switching things up is key! The last thing you want to do is be predictable (aka, boring) or cause her any pain or discomfort.
If you need inspiration, think about all the great things you like done to your penis and try some of those tricks on her. Last but not least, don’t forget that sex is about enjoying yourselves! If you’re not enjoying giving her head because you’re in your head too much, she will sense that and misinterpret it. So, let go of everything else and be present in the moment!