Tabuu Wrap-up: Masturbation as a part of a dominant/submissive relationship? Where do I sign up?!

When you’re in a dominant/submissive relationship, receiving sexual commands is the best part of the day. And of course, masturbation is one of them! It’s not at all unusual for people to believe masturbation is something you do only when you’re lonely or single. But that’s not the case at all. Or at least it shouldn’t be!

If you’re masturbating and you’re not having fun with yourself, you’re doing it wrong. Masturbating should be hot when you’re doing it on your own, and even hotter when you’re in a relationship. And it’s three times hotter when your dominant commands it and you can’t stop until they say so.

1. The Dominant Guides Your Masturbation

When we started dating, we were 440 miles apart. Once we got to know each other a bit better, things escalated very quickly. We were so comfortable with each other that we soon started talking about our kinks and fantasies. Not long after we became so open about our sexual desires, I allowed him to take control of our sexual life.

Being in a long-distance relationship means you have to be creative, especially when it comes to sex. We talked on the phone a lot if not all the time, but our kink came in twice a day: first thing in the morning and before going to bed. He would tell me what to do either with my hands or my vibrator, and I followed his lead.

I was allowed to orgasm most of the time if I asked for permission. Sometimes we would practice edging until I was shaking. Other times we would see how many times I could orgasms since I’m a multi-orgasmic person. No matter what the game was about, he was always in control. And I loved it.

2. Masturbation Integrated to a Scene

We’ve had periods, both back when we were in a long-distance relationship and now that we’re living together, when intercourse is just not our main goal. Orgasms? When he says so. Kinky play? 100% of the time. Intercourse? Not a priority, not as often.

In periods like these, he often commands me to touch myself or masturbate, but I’ve always been a bit shy about it. However, he’s still the dominant, and what he says goes. So, when he tells me to masturbate, I do it.

The same rules we had back when we were doing it long-distance still apply now that we’re together. I can’t come without permission. Sometimes he wants me to beg and other times he wants me to edge instead of just masturbate. Just because I’m doing it to myself doesn’t mean he’s not in control of what I’m doing. If anything, it feels like he’s more in control. I’m vulnerable, completely naked in front of him, and all he does is watch and command.

3. The Freedom of Masturbation, While Following His Rules

We finally moved in together, and several months later I noticed something had changed and I didn’t like it at all. We didn’t masturbate! We didn’t do it on our own or together. How could we not?! We’re so into it and we love sex toys, what’s happening?

Being in a dominant/submissive relationship means the decisions about our sex life can’t be unilateral. Because he has control of my orgasms, I had to discuss this with him first. Luckily, he was on board with it and he’s very supportive of my desires. So, he had no issue integrating masturbation into our relationship like before. As long as I followed a couple of rules.

First, I had to tell him what I did with great detail. And second, I didn’t have to ask for permission, but I did have to let him know before I was going to do it or right after. They’re not highly strict rules, but rules don’t have to be super strict to work! And our rules work perfectly.

I always let him know before I get naked or get my vibrator, and I let him know every single detail; the good, the bad, and the ugly. The truth is, I enjoy masturbation a lot more when he’s there. And it’s not long until he’s commanding me or I’m asking for permission to orgasm.

Now that masturbation has become a part of our relationship once again, I can’t do it any other way. Well, I can, but it’s not the same and it’s not as easy. Sometimes I do masturbate without him when I really need to relax or I’m away, but I don’t want to do it that way. I rather have him there, fulfilling his role. It just makes it better for me, by a thousand!


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