Tabuu Wrap-up: When you think of threesomes, there’s an entire dimension you might be ignoring. Let’s shed some light on it!

There comes a point in almost every relationship where the question of adding a third party to the bedroom is put on the table. Even if you don’t come right out and say it, it’s likely that it has crossed at least one of your minds.

Don’t freak out! I’m not going to talk about threesomes and the intricacies of bringing another person to the bedroom. I’m going to talk about bringing sex toys to the bedroom. After all, three’s a crowd (or it can be), but a sex toy is always welcome!

Why You Should Invite a Sex Toy to Bed

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with your sex life, but we all need to switch things up every once in a while. We all crave something different or maybe your partner has been pushing for something new and they’ve given you the choice. Whatever the situation may be, a sex toy could be the perfect answer.

If threesomes have been on your mind but you’re not ready or willing to deal with the emotional baggage that comes with inviting another person to your bed, a sex toy can be a great compromise. That’s not to say sex toys won’t open up your relationship to some emotional baggage.

After all, it’s not unheard of that a vibrator can make partners feel insecure and there’s also a lot of stigma surrounding the use of sex toys, which leads to feelings of shame and guilt. So, before you invite a sex toy to your sexual relationship, you want to talk about it and address these types of feelings before they arise so you can be prepared in case they do.

A big, realistic dildo is certainly not a replacement for the real deal. Sex toys are in no way designed to replace sex. They’re designed to help you explore your sexuality, both on your own or with a partner. They’re also designed to increase your sexual pleasure in whatever sexual activity you’re willing to use them, whether alone or with someone else.

According to research, sex toys in fact improve people’s sex lives and they also increase people’s confidence and self-esteem. A survey conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion of Indiana University found that people who felt positively about vibrators reported being more sexually satisfied than people who don’t. Isn’t that great?

Get to Know Yourself

Perhaps the greatest thing about sex toys is they’re incredibly versatile and they’re available in many different styles. You can find super cute sex toys, intimidating sex toys, and amazing sex toys you didn’t even know existed. If you’ve never used a sex toy as a couple, the best thing you can do is take your time researching and selecting your new sex toy.

You want to make sure the toy you introduce to your bedroom is one you find interesting and that pushes your boundaries while still being comfortable. For example, if you’re interested in BDSM, you don’t want to start with a full leather bondage moment. Instead, get your partner to tie you up with a tie or cuffs and maybe blindfold you or vice versa. What I’m saying is you want to give your fantasies a try, but begin small and build up from there!

Toy threesomes usually start with a super simple sex toy, such as a vibrator. And trust me, that can be amazing! If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with another phallus in bed, then give a bullet vibrator or an egg vibrator a try. There are also vibrators for couples.

What I’m saying is a vibrator can be the perfect toy for a threesome because it’s extremely versatile. It can be used for a sexy massage, to tease your partner and extend foreplay, not to mention it works such as well on the genitals as it does in other erogenous zones, such as the nipples, the thighs, etc. Once you’re used to the sensation of the vibrator, you can use them in your most sensitive areas.

Sex toys often have a marketed use, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be used in many different ways. In fact, exploring your pleasure is a big part of the fun. You can challenge yourself to see how many sexy uses you can find for your toys and how many sensations they can provoke!

Stick With What’s Familiar to You

If you’ve already been using a sex toy during your alone time, it’s a good idea to use that toy first in your partnered adventure. Stick with what you know and you will have a lot more fun because you’ll already know what kind of things to try.

For example, if you’ve been using a masturbation sleeve on your own time, you can have your partner use it to pleasure you. Depending on the material of your masturbation sleeve, it can be used to tease your female partner as well.

An excitingly different way to use a masturbation sleeve is to use the open-ended sleeve during sex that doesn’t involve deep penetration. What you want to do is slide the sleeve on your penis and insert it into her vagina only 4 inches deep because that’s where the sensation will be at its fullest. This technique can also work perfectly in positions where there’s deep penetration, in which case the sleeve will act as a buffer so everyone’s happier and more comfortable.

Another great example is bullet vibrators. They’re a common sex toy, so if you already have one, introduce it to your partner. These toys are not only for women. They can also be used to pleasure men, all you need to do is get a bit creative. For example, you can use the vibration on his nipples or testicles!

If you’re already familiar with a sex toy, take advantage of your knowledge to get rid of the learning curve. There will be plenty of time to try new toys, but for your first toy threesome, use the one you already know and share your knowledge to create a pleasurable experience right off the bat.

Consult With Experts

If neither of you has tried a sex toy before and you have no idea how to use them in bed, it’s a good idea to consult with experts. After all, this is the best way to obtain the best, most accurate, and useful information.

Many manufacturers provide a ton of information on how to make the most of their toys. Now, these experts don’t provide hands-on expertise, but they can teach you how to operate the products and become a lot more familiar with them so you can use them to the fullest. These consultations often take place in private and you’ll have the opportunity to make sure you find all the questions you need.

Another expert you can consult is the salesperson at your local sex shop! They usually know a lot about the products they’re selling and they know how to use them. Plus, they’re very approachable for the most part. Ask them whatever you want to know! Don’t worry, they won’t be phased by anything. Just make sure the adult store you go to has enough sales personnel so you don’t disrupt their work and they actually have time to answer your questions.

People who work in adult stores are often passionate about sex and they’re happy to guide people who are just getting started and dipping their toes in something new. They’re a great resource, so don’t be afraid to reach out!

Learn to Maintain Your Sex Toy

Once you get a sex toy you both love, I’m sure you’ll want it to last for a long time, especially if you spent big bucks on it. So, here’s what you should know to make sure your sex toy will last longer and continue bringing you pleasure.

First of all, never use anal sex toys in your vagina or your mouth. Anal bacteria can lead to infections in the vagina or the digestive tract if they’re transferred.

Second, use a cleaning product that’s specifically for sex toys and make sure you clean your toys after each use. Dirty toys will lead to infections and using generic cleaning products can damage your toys.

Third, remove the batteries from your sex toys every time before you put them away. Remember battery acid can leak and it may destroy your toy on the inside, causing it to malfunction on you.

Fourth, use your toys with only one partner at a time. If you use them with multiple partners at once, it can increase the risk of contracting STDs, which is not something we want. And last but not least, use a good lubricant! When you’re looking for a lube, make sure you get one that works well with the material of your sex toy, otherwise, it may cause damage in the long run.

If you want to give threesomes a try, a toy threesome is a perfect compromise. Not to mention it can be a great way to inject some excitement and newness into your sex life. And hey, you never know where a little sex toy may lead! They can open the door to many different possibilities. Before you know it, you’ll be giving other new things a try. The point is to have fun and explore your pleasure together, free of doubts or inhibitions. Don’t limit yourselves and simply enjoy the ride!

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