Tabuu Wrap-up: Letting your curiosity take the lead can transform awkward questions into exciting invitations to try new things!
The more I listen to people talk about their sexual experiences and their sexuality, the better I understand how important curiosity is when it comes to having mind-blowing sex. I bet you a hundred bucks nearly everyone experiences some sort of block when it comes to having the kind of sex they fantasize about.
That’s just a fact of life. Whenever we’re having such an intimate exchange with someone, there’s a certain level of uncertainty around it. After all, we can’t read their minds. We don’t know how they want to be touched, what kind of things they like hearing, and they don’t know much about us either. So it’s safe to say that uncertainty goes both ways.
When you’re with a new partner, most of the focus is on their STI status and how you can practice safe sex together. But when it comes to what we like or what they like during sex, we’re a little bit more reluctant to ask questions. Whether it’s because we don’t want to seem inexperienced or because we’re too uncomfortable talking about sex.
Conversations about sex can be difficult. For many, talking about these things is something that’s way out of their comfort zone. Even if we’re talking to partners, not strangers. However, getting through the awkwardness is key because talking is what will allow you to be more certain and confident together.
This is where curiosity can change things around because it will make navigating uncertainties a lot more easily. When you ask questions from a place of curiosity, they go from being an awkward exchange to an exciting invitation for fun in the bedroom. So, what can we do to nurture curiosity when it comes to our sex lives? Well, here are 6 tips that will help you do that!
1. Accept the Fact That You Can’t Read Minds
It’s not your job to guess what your partner wants and enjoys in bed. Your job is to ask them what they want and enjoy. Even if you’ve been with your partner for years, it doesn’t mean people don’t change. When you ask your partner inviting, exciting questions, you’re showing them how much you respect them and understand that things change.
2. Choose Your Words and Your Tone Wisely
When you’re talking to your partner about sex, it’s important you choose your words and your tone wisely. Remember the objective of asking questions is to figure out what your partner likes and to express what you like, not to make demands. So, instead of deciding things on your own, ask them what they think of things.
3. Learn to Listen
A huge part of expressing curiosity is being interested in your partner’s experience. Sometimes, it can be stressful to ask questions about sex, so it can be difficult to stay present enough to answer. Not to mention arousal can be very distracting, even for people who’re extremely good at communicating. So, listen to one another more often. The more you listen, the better you’ll get at it.
4. Have a “Sex Lab”
A “sex lab” consists of having a designated time and place so you can try different sex techniques without worrying about results. When people want to try new things, they usually just jump right into it and they don’t prepare for anything. But that’s not a good idea. Preparation and observation are essential to navigating each other’s desires, moods, and bodies.
Another common mistake people make is having a strong desire of doing things “right”. But the point of having a sex lab is to take the pressure off doing things correctly and just trying things out to see what works and what doesn’t. If it turns out things don’t work out, that’s okay. Failure is a part of trying new things, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find success.
5. Be Curious Together
Being curious together, both inside and outside the bedroom is very important in a relationship. Sharing a sense of adventure is extremely sexy. While routines can be secure and feel safe, injecting a little variety will make a great difference. You shouldn’t only explore your pleasure, but other things in life. Inject a little adventure in your life and try new things, whether that’s a new park, restaurant or hiking spot, new hobbies, etc. Just have fun!
6. Keep Your Eyes Open
Observation is key because it will allow you to understand your interactions with your partner a lot better. By keeping your eyes open, it’s easier to find nuances and establish better connections with your partner as well. Living in the moment will make us feel better and happier, not to mention it will feed your curiosity at the same time.
If there’s any takeaway from today’s article is the fact that curiosity is extremely sexy. In fact, it can be one of the sexiest traits someone can have, especially when it comes to their sexuality. Curiosity is worth exploring and working on because it will make your life more exciting. It will also bring your sex life to the next level. Not to mention being a good listener and being heard is one of the hottest things ever! So, the next time you need to have a conversation about sex, make curiosity your fuel.