Tabuu Wrap-up: If you want your anal play to be safe and super-pleasurable, there are a few essential rules you need to follow!
Straight guys find anal play very intimidating and frightening, at least when they first get into it. Of course, this doesn’t mean they’re not into anal sex, it’s just there are some things straight men find concerning about it.
And that’s exactly what we’ll be discussing today! We will address straight guy concerns about anal sex and we’ll walk you through some rules to help you overcome them. Anal sex can lead to the best, most mind-blowing orgasm of your life, so that’s something you shouldn’t miss out on simply because you have doubts.
I want to say I’m speaking from the perspective of a straight man in a heterosexual relationship. Please know I mean no offense if the terms and pronouns I’m using here today don’t match your gender, pronouns, relationship structure, or sexual preferences, and I hope you still find this useful.
With that said, let’s get into the 5 most essential anal play rules for straight men. Enjoying anal sex is not as uncomfortable or painful as you may think, so let’s get into it!
How Bad Does It Hurt?
Many straight men think anal play and stimulation will feel like any kind of medical exam that involves anal examination. And it makes sense you’d think that because that’s the only reference of “anal stimulation” you’ve had. But the fact is that it’s nothing like that at all. When you’re at the doctor you’re tense, you’re uncomfortable, and you definitely don’t want this person to be anywhere near your butt. That’s why the number one rule of anal play is to breathe and relax. Every muscle in your boy needs to be relaxed, especially the main star: your anus.
What Will My Partner Think of Me?
Women often come to me about this when their man shows interest in anal sex because they’re worried it could be a sign they’re bisexual or gay. Of course, in most cases, no, they’re not gay. I believe what leads women to be so concerned about this comes down to the fact that they feel they’re losing control in a way. And they’re also afraid of their partner’s sense of adventure in bed.
Just so we’re clear: if your partner is interested in anal sex, it doesn’t mean they’re interested in men. What it means is they want to try something new and explore their sexual pleasure in a way that feels amazing. Just because they want to try something kinkier than usual, doesn’t mean you’re not enough or that he will love you any less.
Why Would I Want to Try Anal Sex?
The popularity of anal sex is due to the fact that people who’ve tried it have experienced the most incredible orgasm ever. They swear by it and they can’t enjoy such a huge, intense, powerful orgasm any other way. I think that would be reason enough for anyone, we’d all love to know what that feels like.
Could I Be Gay or Bisexual If I’m Interested in Anal Sex?
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual. Once you truly understand that, it will be easy for you to see that it’s not what you do in bed, what you put in your body, how you wear or how you act what makes you gay.
What makes you gay is who you love and who you enjoy sharing your sex life with. If that happens to be men, amazing! But if you’ve always been into women, anal play will not and cannot make you gay. It doesn’t change your sexual orientation. If you’ve been hiding a part of yourself and you’re triggered to come to terms with that by anal sex, then that’s something entirely different.
One of the most common concerns about anal sex is hygiene and whether it will be messy. Honestly, it can be messy, but having good anal hygiene can help you avoid the mess or at least address it better if it happens.
Preparing for anal sex should go like this: empty your bowels, then take a nice long shower and thoroughly clean your anus. If you’re really anxious about it, what you can do is have an enema. They’re not difficult to do, and they can make you feel a lot more confident in your hygiene during anal play. Also, keep baby wipes at the ready at all times!
Anal safety is a must when it comes to anal play and you need to cover your bases really well. Anal tearing is the most common concern when it comes to safety, but it can be easily avoided by using a good amount of lubricant and being gentle with penetration.
There’s no such thing as too much lube, especially not in anal play because the anus doesn’t produce lubrication on its own. Now, there’s a ton of debate when it comes to choosing the right type of lubricant. Experienced anal players swear by silicone-based lubricants and I’m with them.
Why? Well, silicone-based lubes are super thick, they last longer than water-based lubes, and they make things easier and more pleasurable. When you’re browsing for silicone-based lubes, choose one with as little fillers as possible.
If you plan on using anal toys during play, you also need to make sure they’re safe. The biggest issue with these sex toys is they can be sucked into the rectum if they don’t have a proper base. So, stay well away from anal toys that don’t have a base if you want to avoid a truly embarrassing trip to the ER. Flared based are the best and they will keep the toy from entering your anus entirely, which is exactly what you want.
Another thing you should consider when you’re choosing your anal toy is the size and shape of it. If you’re a beginner, you want to start with small and smooth toys, roughly the size of your fingers. Once you’ve practiced and you feel more comfortable with anal play, you can upgrade to larger toys, then add texture, try vibration, etc. Lastly, make sure whatever toy you choose is made of silicone, metal, or hard plastic because these materials are easier to clean.
What Are the Best Techniques for Anal Play?
Fingering is the best way to get started with anal play, so you want to lay down, use gloves if you want, and thoroughly lube up your fingers. You want to start with one finger if you’ve never done this before. Insert it slowly, hold it there once it’s in, and then slowly pull it out, then repeat. Combine this with a handjob and you will double your pleasure. Remember to reapply lubricant as you go along and be vocal with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Analingus, also known as rimming, consists of giving oral sex to the anus and it’s another popular anal play technique. For this, you want to make sure your anus is squeaky clean so your partner can use their lips, tongue, and even teeth to provide pleasure. Once again, you can combine this with a handjob to experience double the pleasure.
Pegging consists of using a strap-on dildo for anal penetration. Of course, this is not a good idea if you’re just beginning, but it’s something to work towards. Get your partner a strap-on harness and choose the kind of dildo you want to use. Make sure it’s the right size and shape for you, and silicone dildos are highly recommended.
Prostate massages consist of stimulating the P-spot, which is considered by many to be the male G-spot. The P-spot is 2 to 3 inches inside the anus and when this area is massaged, it provides amazing orgasms. Not to mention prostate massages are also good for male health because they help prevent prostate cancer and they increase a man’s sperm count as well.
The 5 Essential Rules for Anal Play
If you want to give anal play a try as a straight man, these are the 5 essential rules to keep in mind:
- Breathe and relax. Not one muscle in your body should be tense!;
- Practice good hygiene! Clean your anus well and always have baby wipes, a towel, and gloves at the ready.
- There’s no such thing as too much lube.
- Don’t you dare using an anal toy that doesn’t have a flared base. Don’t test your luck.
- Communicate openly and honestly before, during, and after anal play.
Anal play can be a bit nerve-wracking when you’re just getting started and it does take preparation and practice. But once you give it a try safely, you will love it and it will probably become a staple in bed. Not to mention that orgasm will be worth all the effort. So, have fun, be adventurous, and enjoy the ride.