Tabuu Wrap-up: If you’re interested in the BDSM community, munches are a must! They’re the lifeline, and here’s how you can tap into it.

BDSM Munch… People don’t talk about them enough and they’re a big part of the community. Why? Because they allow other kink-related events to be successful. That’s why today we’re shining a spotlight over munches to learn a little bit more about them.

Munches are gatherings where newcomers in the BDSM community have the opportunity to meet people who are already in the community. Munches are smaller and less glamorous than kink parties and other kink events, but they are the lifeline of the community.

They’re called munches because they often take place at cafes or restaurants, places where you munch. I say they’re the lifeline of the BDSM community because they allow other events to be safe spaces. Everyone will be familiar and comfortable with each other after a munch, and that changes the dynamic of other events. That’s why they deserve to be discussed!

The Purpose of Munches: What Are They For?

Many people believe munches are meant to enable hook-ups, but that’s not the case at all. The actual purpose of munches is to facilitate that first contact experience for everyone. In some BDSM groups, attending a munch is a requirement before you’re invited to any other kink-related events and parties hosted by the group. Munches are safe spaces for people who are interested in kink and becoming a part of that community, nothing more.

This is why munches often take place in public spaces, such as restaurants, cafes, etc. The point is to feel safe and comfortable enough to make contact with other people and get to know the group you want to be a part of. In other words, munches are an opportunity to meet the group in a more laid-back environment before you get into the good stuff. Munches are a great opportunity to network and talk to more experienced kinksters about your expectations, what you want to explore, and more.

What Do BDSM Groups Gain From Hosting Munches?

They get to vet you, that’s what they gain. In the vetting process, they will be able to get to know you a bit, see how comfortable you are, how stable, and also determine if your intentions are right.

Munches allow BDSM groups to essentially weed out the people who only want to attend kink events to out other people or to be creeps. Which is another reason why they’re so important. Munches are the first step in becoming a part of the community.

Now, don’t be nervous about this vetting process. As long as you remain respectful, honest, and friendly, there’s no reason why they won’t accept you. You’re just going to have a conversation, that’s all. Remember munches are also about having fun; it’s a great opportunity to make friends with the same interests and hang out in a positive environment.

Why Should I Attend a BDSM Munch?

The main reason you should want to go to a BDSM munch is that it’s often a requirement so you can be invited to other events hosted by the group. If you’re new to this, attending a munch will be the first step. Why? Because the group must be comfortable with you as a new member and vice versa.

Remember BDSM and kink events and parties are often hosted in personal spaces, such as someone’s property. Not to mention these events can be very sexual, so it’s important everyone’s okay with everyone. A group won’t let anyone in who can be negative to their community, which is why they vet people in munches.

Munches will open the door to kinky speed dating, educational events, play parties, and many other events. So that’s the biggest reason why you should attend. Going to munches is also a lot of fun for many people because you get to speak openly about what you like, make friends with the same interests, and join a community where you’re welcome and respected.

Play parties and other kink events are more to the point and having a conversation is not high on the list of priorities. That’s another reason why you should attend munches. What’s more, structured munches can provide the opportunity to learn a lot about a specific topic and how it can affect the community. All in all, munches are a great experience and you’ll be able to engage with the group in a comfortable setting.

How Can I Find Local Munches?

You know what to expect from munches, are you ready to attend one? Great! The easiest way to find a local munch is to find local kink groups. However, that’s a difficult task on its own. But I can recommend a couple of things. First of all, use Tabuu! You can search by city and find the groups in your area more easily.

Check out the groups that have posted more recently and look for their next munch or event. If you’re in a small city, it might be easier to find groups in larger cities near you. You may have to drive an hour or two to attend the events, but that’s not something you can’t work out.

If Tabuu isn’t working out and you can’t find any local kink groups there or the ones you find are not active, the second option is to Google it. Some groups will create their own small websites instead of using Tabuu, so make a search such as “city name + state + BDSM”. Those keywords will take you in the right direction. You can also add keywords such as “BDSM play party”, “BDSM munch”, etc., to broaden your results.

Are There Any Requirements to Attend Munches?

Apart from the age requirement, which is 18+, there are no other requirements you need to fulfill so you can attend a munch or any other kink events. Remember munches are specifically for newbies to meet an established group and become a part of the community. That’s why there aren’t many restrictions. You only need to be of age and respectful towards others, that’s it!

What Goes On In BDSM Munches?

What you should expect from a munch is good conversation and yummy food! That’s basically what goes on in munches. Also, they can be structured or not. When a munch is structured, it means there will be a round-table discussion of a specific topic. One of the group leaders will be the moderator and they will choose people who want to speak about the topic and share their opinions.

Structured munches allow you to understand what your local BDSM community enjoys doing. All attendees have the chance to speak their mind, even you, and you should! If you find a local BDSM munch and it doesn’t list a topic, it means it won’t be structured. Now, that doesn’t mean the munch will be a mess, you will still have the opportunity to speak to others and be social.

Food is always a big part of munches, which is why it’s always hosted in places people can buy food or snacks if they want to. You’re free to order what you want! Having a snack or a drink can really help you feel more at ease and comfortable, so I highly recommend it.

What’s the Dress Code for Munches?

Munches take place in places that are not kinky, so there’s no dress code to follow apart from dressing appropriately. If it’s a dinner, you can dress up a little, but there’s no reason to fret about what you’re wearing. And you definitely shouldn’t choose a kinky outfit, save that for a play party!

How Should I Behave in a Munch?

There’s not much difference between a munch and other kinds of social meetings. There’s no reason to behave any differently than you normally do. Be your respectful, polite, and open self! Join in on conversations if you feel comfortable with the subject and reach out to people.

BDSM groups are used to newbies being a bit awkward and shy at first. That’s completely normal! Warming up is always a bit difficult at first, just give yourself time to do that. Group leaders will make an effort to include you and invite you into conversations, so take advantage of that because it will make things a bit easier.

Should I Bring Something to a Munch?

No, not really! All you need to do is bring money if you want to get something to eat or drink. Also, don’t forget to tip your waiter or waitress! You should also bring your partner if you’re going into this as a couple. If not, you could bring a friend who’s open-minded and respectful for support if you think you’ll need it. Munches are also a great opportunity to bring someone with the same interest in kink as you, so you can enter the community together. Leave all sex toys at home, please! Remember munches are kink-free environments, they’re not play parties.

What Kind of Topics Are Discussed in Munches?

Going into a munch, it can be scary to think about what topics will be explored in conversation. Is everyone going to ask you about your kinks and be super straightforward with their own? No, not at all!

Once again, munches are not about the kink. You’re going to have basic, get-to-know-you conversations with people, so there’s no need to be nervous. Of course, in this setting, there’s a lot more room for the discussion of topics that would be “taboo” in other social settings. But that’s why you’re in a munch!

You want to connect with people who are interested in kink, as you are. You can talk about kinky topics and you will definitely hear other people talking about them, but it’s not as intimidating as you think. The conversation will mix common topics with kinky topics naturally, so don’t think too hard about what to say.

Be yourself! Strike up a conversation with anyone as you normally would and see where it goes. When you click with someone, it’s very easy to talk about anything, and that’s what munches are about. They’re about connecting with others and being able to speak freely about whatever you want. It can be basic topics about daily life, or you could get into more detail about why you’re in the munch and what kind of experiences you’re looking for. Either way, people will be open to that.

Socializing is the point and the goal of munches, so that’s precisely what you need to do. Don’t be too in your head about this! On the contrary, get out of your head and enjoy the gathering.

Another thing to note about munches is that they’re regular gatherings for BDSM groups, which means you might hear announcements or discussions about upcoming events. This is great because you’ll be able to mark your calendar and attend any event you’re interested in.

Is There an After-Munch?

No, there isn’t, but if you had a lot of fun at your munch, you might want to spend more time with the amazing group that has welcomed you. If that’s the case, ask about upcoming events if they don’t make any announcements. What the next event will be for you will depend on the rules of the BDSM group.

Some groups require newbies to only attend one munch before you can go to other events, but other groups will require you to attend several munches first. Make sure you’re aware of their rules and plan accordingly. Soon enough you’ll be at your first play party. How exciting!

If you didn’t like the group at all, then you need to find another group in your area. As much as BDSM groups are vetting you, you are also vetting them. If the vibe doesn’t suit you and you don’t really like the people in the group, then you need to move on. However, don’t write off people or groups just because you’re nervous. Take your time. If that first munch was not great, give it a second chance before you start looking for other groups near you.