Tabuu Wrap-up: Many resources on anal sex focus on how to get there. But what about what happens once you’re in? Today we’ll clear that up!
The popularity of anal sex has never been greater than it is now. According to a CDC report released back in 2011, 44% of men and 36% of women have had anal sex at least one time in their lives. A survey from The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2010 also showed that 46% of women have tried it.
It’s clear that we’re a lot more open to the idea of anal sex than ever and more people are giving it a try. But even if the topic is more openly discussed, the discussion around it is still very general. Resources focus mostly on how to get into it, which is great for beginners and people who want to understand what it takes. But what about what happens once you’re in through the back door?
That’s what we’ll be discussing today. It’s important that you not only learn how you can prepare for anal penetration but also what happens when you’re doing it or experiencing. In other words, you must have a complete picture. After all, anal sex can have its drawbacks, especially when you have no idea what you’re doing.
1. Relax and Just Get to It
One thing that can help you guarantee you’ll have a good anal sex experience is to relax. That’s one of the main pillars of anal sex. And if we think about it, it’s one of the pillars of any kind of sexual experience. However, when it comes to anal sex, it’s a lot more important.
It can take a lot of time and practice to make the anal sphincter relax. So whether you’re in the receiving end or not, taking your time is a must. You need to ease and relax into it, and so does your partner. After all, the anal sphincter is a muscle, so the more relaxed, the more pleasurable your experience will be.
Remembering to breathe is also very important because a lot of people hold their breath during their experience. Sometimes that’s due to anticipation or fear, but that’s a huge mistake. Huge. You need to breathe to allow the muscles in your body to relax, including the anal sphincter. So, focus on your breathing to allow yourself to relax and enjoy.
You must really get out of heard and be in the moment. This is key when it comes to relaxing. You can’t really be calm when you don’t allow yourself to be in the moment and get lost in the experience. Of course, this may take some time. After all, anal sex requires some practice to become comfortable with it. Be aware of the fact that this is a process and enjoy that process.
Last but not least, you need to communicate. Not only before and after the fact but also during! Let your partner know what you want and what your limits are before you go in. And then when you’re in the moment, be vocal about what you like, what you don’t like, and give your partner instructions. At the end of the day, sex is great when everyone’s having fun. So speaking your mind is essential, no matter how it may interrupt the flow.
2. It’s Not a Race!
There’s nothing about sex that should be treated like a race. Getting to the finish line is not really the best part. The best part should be the experience and everything that leads up to the finish line. To that effect, you want to take your time with anal sex. Start gently and slowly so you give yourself the chance to accustom to the feeling of being anally penetrated.
This is particularly important when you’re a beginner and you’re practicing anal sex for the first time. You want to go really slow here. Don’t attempt too much too soon. Remember that the skin that makes up the anal walls is super thin, so you and your partner need to be very gentle so you can avoid pain and discomfort. In fact, you shouldn’t experience any pain or discomfort. If you do, stop what you’re doing immediately.
Take a break, try some other stimulation, relax your body, and try again if you feel up to it. But if it continues to cause pain or discomfort, try again some other time. Listen to your body and don’t go against it.
The last thing you want to do when it comes to anal sex is to be impatient. No one becomes a professional at anal sex at the first try. It really does take practice, patience, and a ton of lube. If it’s something you enjoy, you need to give it time and give your body the chance to get used to it. Penetration is not the first thing you should try, and when you do, you want to take it a step at a time.
3. Use Anal Toys and Don’t Forget Lube
There can be no anal sex without lube. Truly. It doesn’t matter how good you get and how much your body gets used to it, you can never forget lube. The anus doesn’t produce lubrication, so you always need to make sure you’re well-lubricated to be comfortable and experience a lot more pleasure.
I recommend you get a lube that’s specifically made for anal sex because they’re thicker and they will last longer. Silicone-based lubes can be great because they provide a silky and super smooth feel and they last longer than water-based lubes, which can also be good, but you’ll need to reapply more often.
When it comes to anal toys, there are many different varieties you can try. However, as a beginner, the best sex toy is actually your hands. Your fingers are soft yet firm, flexible, and they’re more familiar. To get started on your anal stimulation, simply use your fingers. Play with sensations around the anus, and when you’re ready, you can insert a pinky first. Then, you can insert other fingers and eventually insert more than one. You’re the master of your process, after all.
Once you feel like you’re ready for something new and you want to give sex toys a try, you want to start small even now. Butt plugs, anal probes, and anal beads are a great way to get started. Just look for the entry-level options and enjoy those until you’re ready for more expert anal toys. Take your time reading reviews, see what people are saying, and choose your toys based on what’s best for you. Don’t go for the biggest anal toys; this is not a competition. Start small and then go from there!
4. Try Anal Sex Positions
Positions that make anal sex easier and more comfortable are encouraged. Many of the positions you usually engage in could work well for anal sex. For example, doggy style or spooning work really well for anal sex. Just make sure you use plenty of lube. I encourage you to do your research! See what positions can make anal sex more comfortable and easier, not just for you but also for your partner, and decide what you want to do. It’s good that you have a clear idea of what you want to do when you plan on doing this with a partner, so take your time thinking it through.
Just like many other sexual practices, anal sex is not for everyone. However, a lot more people are more open to it, and I think it’s great that you’re willing to explore something new you think you might enjoy. The key is to do it safely, comfortably, and make sure you have as much fun with it as possible.
Anal sex is not just about being penetrated from behind, it’s about the process that leads to that, the fact that you’re trying something new, connecting with your partner differently, learning to communicate, relax, and enjoy something outside your comfort zone. That’s what makes it so attractive to so many people.
Whether you’re giving a try tonight or in the future, just make sure you’re ready for it. Don’t put pressure on yourself, don’t rush through anything. Take your time, enjoy the learning process, be mindful of your body, and just enjoy it.