Tabuu Wrap-up: If you want to join the mile-high club, it’s going to take some planning, so let’s get started!

Joining the mile-high club is one of the most common sexual fantasies. And it’s no wonder! It’s risky, exciting, and not an easy thing to do. When you accomplish it, it feels incredible and it makes for one heck of a story. However, it doesn’t happen like in the movies. If you want it to be good, you have to plan things out.

When it comes to risky sex in public places, you need to come to terms with the fact that the experience can fail spectacularly. It’s a real possibility. Having sex on a plane required planning and it must be forethought so that possibility is reduced as much as possible. To help you join the mile-high club, here are the most useful tips.

1. Prepare in Advance and Choose the Right Flight

If you’re going on an inexpensive charter flight soon and you want to take the opportunity to join the mile-high club, think again. You can’t have sex on a short-haul, and here’s why:

First of all, you need time. On a charter flight, you don’t have that. You can’t pull this thing off in a flight of less than a couple of hours simply because the window of opportunity will be incredibly short. It just won’t happen, and if it does, it will likely be a fail. That’s not what we want.

Second of all, passengers on short flights are really annoying because they’re trying to cash in on that flight and get as much of it as possible. They will be moving around a lot and they’ll go to the bathroom. Sometimes there will even be a line-up and you’re more likely to get knocks on the door and be found out.

And last but not least, you don’t want to have sex after so many people have used the bathroom. It will spoil the mood tremendously. So, if you want a mile-high experience that’s worth remembering, you want to avoid these flights and take a long-haul one instead. There are more bathrooms available on flights like these, so you won’t be bothered, they’ll be more spacious, and people will be a lot less restless.

2. Avoid Getting Caught

On long flights, the cabin crew is a lot more efficient when it comes to performing their duties. This means they get out of the way faster so they can also enjoy the flight. This explains why dinner service always seems to happen in the first hour. A full belly and a few drinks later, everyone’s either dozing off or already asleep.

If you do things right, this can be a good thing, particularly for what you have in mind. The less you bother the cabin crew, the easier it will be to join the mile-high club. When you’re planning your mile-high adventure, keep in mind that people tend to crowd at the point and the end of the plane. That leaves you many options in between.

What you want to do is take turns and avoid leaving your seats and heading to the bathroom at the same time. Be smart about this! You want to attract as little attention as possible, both from other people in the plane and from the cabin crew. When you’re familiar with the area, decide which door you’re going to hide behind and agree on a knock so you can let your partner in.

The same goes for when you’re ready to head out. Don’t leave the bathroom at the same time. Enjoy your success for a second, quietly high-five each other, and then leave separately. Before all this, you also want to make sure you’re practically invisible to your flight attendant. Be nice, don’t ask for much, and don’t get their attention. If they don’t even remember you’re there, there’s a lot less chance they will set their sights on you to bust you for what you’re planning to do. They know it happens and they’ll be looking out for it.

3. Be Smart About the Sex

You’ve finally made it. You’re both in the bathroom and you’ve caught the attention of no one. Now it’s time to get to it. Just remember to be smart! You’ve worked hard to get here, so don’t make any noise and ruin the whole thing. Wear clothing that’s easy to remove and easy put back on without any hassle.

Also, prepare the space. Remember it’s a public bathroom, so it can be a bit gross. You want to prepare the space as best as you can so you feel less uncomfortable about it. And please avoid nasty stalls altogether. If it’s not hygienic, check out the others and find a better option.

Remember to leave your things in your carry-on, where they’re safe. You don’t want your phone or your keys to fall into the toilet. You also need to consider how much time you have. When you’re on a night flight, you’ll have more time, but otherwise stick to a quickie. Last but not least, don’t hesitate to pull the plug if things are not working out. You can reconvene later is there’s any risk of getting caught or if you’re just not finding comfort.

Most importantly, remember you don’t have much space to work with, so please don’t be too ambitious about what you want to do. Work with the space you have and try to maximize pleasure that way. With a little forethought and a little luck, you will walk out of that plane with a little secret that you’ll be able to laugh about for years!